Think About What You Say

Often at work I find myself a cheerleader. I mean, yes, sure one of my primary functions is to will children from illness to health, but being that they're young people it's not unusual that I have to really bring out the "big inspirational guns" to convince them that a) they can get better and that b) sometimes they also  need to put in work to get over the barriers preventing them from ragaining their 100%. I once sat with a teenaged boy for 30 mins, like some movie-style football coach trying to bring him to the realization that he needed to break his cycle of laying in bed all day in order to get out of hospital. It was something like: Yes, your leg hurts and you're sad because you can't plays chool sports at all this year now, but if you don't get out of bed to do physiotherapy you'll also not get out of hospital. If you don't work at this physio, you might not recover well enough to play sports at all. You might get benched for a very, very long time rather than just this season because you didn't take some responsibility for working your way back.

That's the cliff  notes, anyway. For the record, he was 17 so I could dish some stronger words than if I was just trying to get a 7 year old to do the same thing.

Anyway, recently I've found myself doing some similar coaching, except I'm noticing that what I'm saying really applies to a lot of situations - including some things I'm working on myself. Not to toot my own horn, but I'll offer something up, and then think "Jeeze, that shit it solid gold. You could learn something from yourself!"

This one is pretty much my favourite, and I've used is in many ways for a while.

Yes, what you're about to do is hard work. Have you ever been skiing? Well, I remember the first few times I hit the slopes. I was terrible, and I fell down pretty much more than I was upright. But I had this good/crazy/expert skiier friend help me out. Early on she said "Let's try a double-black diamond run (The Headwalls)!" After I picked my jaw up from the ground she told me something to the effect of "I'll be ok. Just take your time and have fun!" Well, we did. That run was stupid and way out of my comfort zone, but we rolled down and played in the powdered snow around the trees and at one point I think we just slid on our bums like we were on a giant playground slide. It was by no means pretty, but I made it to the bottom alive and proud! But most importantly, the next time I ventured onto an easy run I was able to say "Wow! This is so much easier than the headwalls! I can so totally ski down this!" It's the same for you. If you just hesitantly keep taking the easiest route, that's all you'll ever be comfortable with and you certainly won't progress further. But if you push yourself -even into a place where you're positive it won't look good or go smoothly - you'll be able to look back at what you've already done and be able to say "Wow! That other stuff isn't as difficult as it used to seem. I can get through this."

Lately when I tell this one - or a version of it (like You are about to be challenged. Do your best, because in order to move forward, you will have to at least meet them. You don't have to do it well, but it does take work to get the things we want), I find myself repeating it in my mind. Especially now that I've registered to run the Tough Mudder race in just over a week. I set this goal a few months back and I've been working hard at it but frankly it still scares the ever living shit out of me. And the training had been hard. For a person who has long proclaimed that she and running "are not friends," I have been doing a lot of running. I even (successfully) tackled a long run with a very, very long uphill climb which at the beginning of the summer I would never have believed I could manage. As they say, I may have been slower than a herd of turtles running through peanut butter, but if I didn't try it, even ungracefully, I might never have known I could do it. And as a plus, all of my shorter, flatter runs seem so much more achievable!





It's a pretty sweet example of "don't dish it if you can't take it" - and I totally believe in it.

p.s. Thanks, Mandy for being the crazy one and deciding it would be a good idea to try the Headwalls on my second day at the slopes. I have since returned many times.